Welcome Gwenevere “Winnie” Mae

It’s been a month since little Winnie has been in our arms, and I honestly don’t know how it’s already been that long! After your first child, days, months, and weeks really are a big blur. Time goes quicker than that little ticking second hand on your watch, honestly. Some days, I can feel the weight of time and how little we actually have…and how desperately I need to make the most of it with my girls…my husband…my friends and family. But, I digress. This story isn’t about how quickly our lives go, and how we need to slow down our pace and be happy with the every day and ordinary. I’ll get to that another day. This is all about our sweet little Gwenevere…a name that’s bigger than her! I can’t wait to share my home birth story.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

It all really started when I went in for my 39 week appointment. I had tried everything except castor oil to get this baby out! And remember, we didn’t know if Winnie was going to be a boy or a girl, so this birth was extra exciting for us…and taking the longest of the three so far. So, when I saw my midwife, I asked her if she’d sweep my membranes, because the midwife who I had seen the week before, told me she’d do it at 39. So, I begged her to do it even though she didn’t like to before 40. I quickly told her that if it’d weigh heavily on her conscious or make her have a bad Thanksgiving not to ha! I didn’t want her to feel bad for my sake! But, she ended up having to do an internal exam anyways, because she thought the baby was breach. I immediately started bawling when she told me the news, and my head began to spin. She had been head down for so long now! Luckily, right as she started the internal exam, she felt the baby’s head. I was so relieved! My cervix was also almost all thinned out. And then she did the sweep! I never thought I’d have one done, but hey, I’m glad I did! And no, it didn’t hurt one bit. Lots of pressure, but no pain. 

And that was that. Nothing happened for all day after the appointment. I think my appointment was around 10 or 11. I figured the sweep did nothing, because no matter how much cleaning or bouncing on my yoga ball I did that day, no lasting contractions. So, right as Kevin got home that night, we went on a long walk around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights (the few that put theirs up early like us)! And contractions started. Nothing that hurt and nothing consistent, but I could tell something was changing. I was just hoping it’d stay that way and not stop when I fell asleep. But, boy did things keep going! As disgusting as this is to write out and let everyone know…after every contraction (that I wasn’t sure if it actually was one or not) I ended up in the bathroom with awful diarrhea. Like a waterfall. Not glamorous at all. And these contractions were anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart at this time, sooo just imagine all those bathroom breaks. Not pretty. But, I actually thought I was catching a stomach bug that both my daughters were on the tail end of, that included a lot of diarrhea. And the contractions weren’t terrible. It just felt like bad gas at this point. 

Nonetheless, I made it until the morning time, and then I really started to time those things! I guess I was trying to talk myself out of it since I didn’t think the sweep worked, but my husband basically bribed me to call the midwife and tell her what was going on. And I’m glad I did! We met her at the birthing center around 10:45am. She checked me, and I was already 5cm. I was so taken aback. I did not feel like my contractions were hurting like they had in the past at 5cm, but then again it was baby number three! So, she told me I could stay and labor at the birthing center or go walk around at Target for a bit … maybe grab a bite to eat since I hadn’t eaten yet.  We went to Target. It was 2 minutes away, but not even 5 minutes in and I knew we weren’t going to be there for long. My moans were loud enough to scare people, and I could hardly walk. And once you get to that point, you know it’s only about to get more painful and a little louder. With Hallen, this would have been the point where I started to throw up, but luckily, I know that about myself, so I ask for nausea meds! The only meds I take during labor. I can do natural childbirth, but I do not do vomit well. 

I told Kevin that we needed to leave Target, so we walk out ever so slowly between contractions, make it to the car, grab a smoothie, and head back to the birthing center. Immediately, I get into the tub once we get back to our suite. A few minutes later, our amazing photographer shows up as do my mom and Hallen! The whole crew got there just in time for the grande finale. it was 11:45/12 at this point, and I was honestly just scared I was going to have waterfall diarrhea at this point…in the tub…in front of everyone. I know so many people tell you that once you get to the end, you don’t care what happens or who’s watching, but I kind of just don’t want some things to be seen still…or for my baby to come out in a tub of diarrhea water. But enough about that. We’ll talk about the beauty of birth instead! 

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IT’S TIME!

I got out the tub a couple times to go to the bathroom…just to make sure, ya know. And the last time I asked to go to the bathroom, the midwife happened to be in there, and she looked straight at me and said, ” what’d you just say?! There’s no way you’re going to the bathroom! We’re not having a toilet baby!” I didn’t think there was any way I was ready to push. I  seriously thought I needed to go to the bathroom again since that had been happening all night and morning. But, she got me out of the tub to check me, and sure enough, I was ready. She told me that the next time I felt the urge to push, push! That’s when I kind of freaked out. Once you’ve been in labor before, you know what it feels like, and know what you have to do. Y’all, the pushing is a little relief, but there’s nothing quite like the feeling of a human head coming out of your umm…lady parts down there. Nothing. 

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SO CLOSE

This was my first birth that I watched the whole thing. I didn’t see anything of my other two girls. I felt their heads with my hand once they started crowning, but being in the tub with Winnie, and seeing it all was absolutely amazing. And when our midwife said she was starting to crown, I knew it wouldn’t be much longer…but instead of her head, it was the bag of waters. She said it’d probably pop soon, but it kept coming out in tact as I pushed. At this moment, Kevin also said, “look, it’s her head!” And I immediately responded, ” I KNOW IT’S HER EFFING HEAD!!!” Poor guy… ” I was telling that to Hallen,” he softly said. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ 

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With each push, it just looked like a little balloon coming out (sorry if that’s TMI, but hopefully you knew this would all be TMI). And then, after about 5 pushes, there her sweet little face was. It was almost over! One or two more little pushes and she was out. For a split second, I saw her in the sac under the water. Then, I closed my eyes in relief that it was all over as Kevin scooped her up to hand her to me. In that moment, the water broke, and our baby was here in all of her gooey goodness at 1:04pm. 

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It took us a few minutes to remember to check to see if she was a girl or a boy, but when we finally remembered, Kevin opened her little legs, and I won! I knew it was a girl! We were both so excited to add another little girl to our tribe.

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And Hallen wouldn’t have had it any other way. She was smitten. I’ve never seen her smile like she did that day. If she could nurse Winnie, I bet she would. She is totally her little mama. 

A BEAUTIFUL DAY

It was such a blissful day. I didn’t expect to have a baby, and then she came so quickly, and we left the birthing center just as quickly…4 hours after she arrived. It felt so amazing to get back into our own bed that night instead of having to stay at a hospital for a day and a half or two days like before. If you are thinking about going to a birthing center to have your baby, do it! Just do it. There’s honestly nothing quite like it. And being in a tub made my contractions so much better. Yes, they still hurt like heck, but whenever I got out, it was double the pain. However many more babies we have, I’ll go right back to where we had sweet Winnie. 

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And if you’re wondering about her big, very old fashion name…Gwenevere is my grandmother’s name and Mae is Kevin’s. I’m sure we’ll come up with at last 34 nicknames for her with so many possibilities, but for now, we’ll be calling her Winnie for the most part to keep it short and sweet. 

If you’re a birth story addict like I am, read here for another great one from one of my friends, Elizabeth. I’m a fan of birthing how you want to birth, and everyone being healthy in the end, so I love her perspective on why she chose an induction + an epidural, and I think you will too.