My heart is still racing just typing this out. My mind is flowing with the what ifs and could have beens. This post won’t have any pretty photos and possibly not even thoughts that are strung together well, but it had to come out, so I could try to get all of this out of my head.
If you know me, you know that I try to keep every situation as un-heated as possible. I’m not one to cause a big scene or even tell someone off if I think they did something to offend me. I’ll usually just talk about it with my husband later, and I can be calmed down and just hope that they had the best intentions or whatever. You get the picture. I DON’T LIKE CONFLICT! I’d rather clean my house for 10 hours a day / 7 days a week! Well, all that changes when something involves your child. Come at me all you want, but when it involves my child…especially endangering my child, you bet my mom instincts …that mama bear inside of me will come out.
You don’t even know you have it until it has to kick in. You always say, ” I would kill for my family. I would do whatever it takes to make sure my children are safe…” But on the inside, you may be thinking, ” oh gosh…I hope I never have to hit someone or use self defense.” At least that’s what I think. Again, it’s a conflict thing. And there’s no adrenaline pushing you to do anything right then, because it’s not the “normal you.”
And before you think I hit someone today, I didn’t. I almost did, though. It was just an ordinary Monday. I had to go see the midwife for a lab, and my mom came with me and the girls so she could see where I’d be delivering in a few weeks. After our quick time there, my oldest wanted to go to SouthPark Mall to see the “princess store (aka the Disney Store).” So, we went. It was only 10 minutes away. We were all having so much fun running from one character to another. Hallen had all the plush princesses scooped up in her arms, walking around the store while Hazel was running wild back and forth from character to character.
After we had been there for about 30 minutes just playing around, a group of five men walked into the store. I thought it was strange. They were semi looking, but not really looking at stuff. Then, one guy comes closer to us by the TV. Hallen had all of the princesses splayed out along with her doll she brought from home. I saw him taking photos, so I took a few steps back only to see that he was taking pictures of Hallen! And he didn’t stop with one photo. He had taken two, and was still taking them, when I abruptly yelled at him, snatched his phone, and told him to delete those photos right now! I can’t even remember what all came out of my mouth. I was infuriated. I was on edge. I had never been so overcome with the amount of anger, disbelief, or shock in my life! Looking back at when I first accused him of what he was doing, I don’t even know how I did it or what I said. I know I made a huge scene. He tried to act as if he didn’t understand English. He told me he was taking a photo of her doll…the one that wasn’t even a Disney doll, guys. He tried to tell us he had a nephew he wanted a doll like that for…a ONE YEAR OLD nephew who had to have a doll like that. I kept screaming to delete the photos right now. I didn’t know how to work his phone, so I gave it back. He deleted them, but I know they aren’t permanently deleted. The Disney store manager agreed that he took photos of my daughter after looking at them herself, and only seeing portions of the doll in the photo, but all of my daughter was there. She called security for us. And once security was called, the man’s whole posse left him there. They walked out. After a 10 minutes of waiting around for security, he too, tried to leave, so I stomped out of the store and yelled at all of them. That they couldn’t leave and were just as guilty as him! Of course, I couldn’t keep them there, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. The one man stayed, though. He had been cornered by me.
FINALLY, the mall security came, which by the way, if you ever have to work with mall security…excuse me for speaking my opinion, but they’re a joke. I don’t know how much they’re allowed to help you out, but the security guard that helped us out at SouthPark Mall didn’t do anything. He probably thought I was being an overprotective mom. He patted the guy on the back, and said to us, “Look, he’s sorry. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He hasn’t committed a crime. He’s deleted the photos…blah blah blah.”
Look sir, I don’t know if you don’t have children or just don’t care or maybe you think I am being an overprotective mom. You can’t just dismiss what I saw. The man that took photos of my daughter then told the security guard, “I was taking photos for my mom…she likes dolls.” Really??? He couldn’t even come up with the same lie he had just told us. AND the photos of his nephew were now mysteriously deleted from his phone too.
The security guard had talked to the Disney Store manager before even talking to me..the mom..the one that it had happened to. No. That’s not how this works. Talk to me. I’m the firsthand witness. The manager was very kind to us, but the security guard had no empathy, did things out of order, is clearly not a police officer (which is who we really needed), and cared more for the man taking photos of children than us!
I know there’s technically not anything they can do until one of my kids is actually in their hands (which is bull crap, by the way), but something needs to change. This cannot be allowed anymore, when children are being sold from photos over messages! This isn’t the first time this has happened to us in SouthPark Mall, unfortunately. I always blame postpartum anxiety over the first time, so I never did anything about it…just in case I wasn’t being clear headed or POSSIBLY my mind was muddled with postpartum hormones, but I know when someone is clearly taking photos of my child. It is sick and unacceptable. And when a security guard won’t help and makes me look and feel stupid or like I’m the one in the wrong, something has got to change. There needs to be something in place to help us out when something strange happens. Not a pat on the back to the perpetrator. Charlotte, NC is #1 in NC for human trafficking. NUMBER ONE. That’s a scary place to be…especially when nothing can be done about that first step. A photo. Or someone talking to your child..handing them a lollipop. I’ve talked to several moms where strange things have happened, and yet us, the innocent bystanders, can only be that…bystanders. We can’t question them, have police question their motives…nothing. There’s absolutely no protection. It’s scary! You can be right next to your child or a few steps away for a trafficker to make his move.
I know I need to be on the lookout for my own kids, but the authorities need to be too. I’m not sure what the right thing is that has to be done, but believing what I tell you is important. We don’t have mom instincts for nothing. They were God given for a reason. And you better believe if YOU don’t have my back, I’ll take it into my own hands. I will fight. I will claw. You cannot have my children. But I beg the authorities in Charlotte, and really EVERYWHERE to protect your children. I beg you! This cannot keep happening. Something has to be put done before our children are in their sick hands.
Kristina
You May Also Like
Morgan Martin
Oh my gosh. Kristina, that is so awful. How horrifying!! I just read this with tears in my eyes and Am so thankful nothing worse happened. And good for you for those momma bear instincts…I know that feeling. It is so primal – when it’s come out in myself I have been amazed at how instinctual it is. I have been fortunate not to have anything like this happen though. Holy cow!
22 . 10 . 2018Kristina
It was such an out of body experience. Hard to believe it was actually happening! Hopefully things like this will start to stop! Something has to happen. Hope you guys are doing well <3
22 . 10 . 2018Nicole
Long story short.
Family friend – true story. Day light.
Daughter needs to pee, mom pulls up to one of the main doors in Concord mills. Daughter gets out and goes inside to use the bathroom. The mom is waiting with the car on, up by the door. Her daughter in THEre for way too long. Minutes later the mom sees a Hispanic WOMan carrying a white young girl out of the door like she had had too many drinks from the bar. She notices it’s her daughter, gets out screams saves her daughter, (lots of drama/info later)
The girl was in the bathroom, in the stall peeing and gets a needle in the ankle.
Unbelievable.
22 . 10 . 2018Kristina
Oh my word!!! That’s so scary! It can happen in the blink of an eye. Predators are everywhere…and everywhere that seems like it should be safe! I’m so glad she was watching. So so scary!
22 . 10 . 2018Fran
Did security at least take the man’s name? Was there any exChanGe of information? So scary we were there today!
22 . 10 . 2018Kristina
No. There was nothing. Nothing! No exchange of information. No name taking or questioning. He told him to leave because he was clearly upsetting me, and to come back to shop later. My mom and I were outraged. the security guard walked out with him, patting him on the back!
22 . 10 . 2018Patricia
Oh no, no. No, no!!! Im so sorry you went through this and you were absolutely in the right!!! I hOpe and pray that seciroty and everYone will take these SITUATIONS more SERIOUSLY in the future!! Prayers and hugs mama. Prayers and hugs.
22 . 10 . 2018Kristina
I hope so too! EVEN if this guy was innocent, too many things like this happen, and training/ security needs to be ramped up! Thanks, mama
23 . 10 . 2018CK
I was always under the impression that it is illegal to take kids’s pictures without parental consent, although who is monitoring that. We are in Atlanta (very high up on the sex trafficking list) and I have had one or two incidences where mama bear came out. The first is the one that stuck with me most. I was at Target getting my stuff in my car and this woman approached me when I was putting the last bag in my car and my son was in the shopping cart. She tried to wedge herself between us and I pushed PAst and ignored her so I could load him in the car. She again tried to pin me and I looked at her and just said if you do not back up right now I will call the cops a as I dialed 911. She moved slightly but not quite enough where I could safely get into my car. I started dialing and she bolted. I have no doubt in my mind she was hoping I would be satisfied with the small distance she gave and grab his car seat when I went to get into the driver seat. I made my husband put the carseat on my side after that.
22 . 10 . 2018I would always prefer to err on the side of caution in those situations. No one should ever fault a mom for trusting her good given gut in a situation like that. I probably would have reported the security guard for how he treated you, if that group had melicious intent they will remember that. Glad your and your Littles are ok!
Kristina
That’s so scary to have her be at your car like that! It’s crazy how we just kick into a different mode immediately when it comes to our kids. And I too always say better to err on the side of caution. EVEN IF these people are innocent, there’s obviously not enough being done to help us out. I’ll definitely be talking to the mall today. Something needs to happen. I know nothing can be done about our situation, but it’s going to happen again, and there need to be better policies. Glad you and your little man are okay too !
23 . 10 . 2018Renee
Last year at the Southern Christmas Show, I was allowing my 10-yr old twin daughters to browse a toy booth when I noticed a man nearby. He was dressed in a golf shirt and dress pants. He didn’t look dangerous. I was standing where I could see both my girls at once since they were down 2 different aisles. When one of my daughters went to the stuffed animal aisle, I noticed that man pretend to look and touch the stuffed animals too but the whole time he stared at my daughter. She was oblivious to his presence. I had a weird feeling, my mom sense kicked in. I gathered my daughters and we moved on. 15 minutes or so later, we found another toy booth. Again, I positioned myself where I could see both girls. With so much noise and chaos, I found myself looking around the room but never moved from my spot. I looked back at my daughter at the stuffed animals and that man was standing next to her again!!! This time I was having none of it! I got his attention and with my hands on my hips locked eyes with him. I gave that look that conveyed, “Really?! You again? What are you trying to pull?” He gave a near-smirk, turned and walked away. It was creepy and eye-opening. A couple days later there was a news story about a man attempting to lure a girl away from her mother at that same Christmas Show. He was caught and he did not match the description of the man I saw. I never even thought about a ring of men. I didn’t realize they move in packs. Truly terrifying!
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
Oh gosh! That’s terrifying! I bet there were a few of them there in the same ring trying to abduct children. There are usually a couple of them so that they can help the other out. I’m glad you saw him and your instincts kicked right in and that your girls are safe. It’s sad that we have to be on the lookout everywhere these days!
23 . 10 . 2018Kristine Cocchiarella
PLEASE let the police and mall management know about this!! I’m so glad that you were paying attention and that nothing more nefarious happened!! <3
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
I’m talking with them today! Hopefully they’ll be able to ramp up security and are able to train security guards to handle these situations as well as just walking around the mall. I keep saying, even if this was an innocent photo…MAYBE he really wanted a photo of my daughter’s doll, it’s not acceptable to be so dismissive of my concern.
23 . 10 . 2018Heather
I have chills. this is terrifying. YOU DID GOOD mama… BUT I WOULDN’T BE DONE WITH IT MYSELF. i would ask the disney store for SURVEILLANCE images and file a police report. if there ever is a next time, or this happens to another of us, i hope we can take pictures of them/ his face- brazenly and UNAPOLOGETIcally. and also, insist the police come. we should start a movement as mothers – a campaign. posters on the walls of the malls and stores and parking lots to bring more awareness and exposure to these animals.
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
Totally agree! Not done with this at all. It’s a concern to everyone! I’ll be talking with the mall today. I know they want to be proactive about it, so something will be done! We should feel safe in our own mall!
23 . 10 . 2018Nan
My question is WHY do YOU HAVE PICTURES POSTED of your children ON THE INTERNET??? Thisis no different from the man in disney taking their pucture.
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
two very different purposes. thanks for your concern, though.
23 . 10 . 2018LYNN PETILLO
I AM SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. DID YOU NOTIFY THE POLICE? I WOULD HAVE EVEN AFTER SECURITY IS CALLED. YOU CAN STILL INFORM CMPD ABOUT THIS INCIDENT. I WOULD. I AGREE, MALL SECURITY IS A JOKE. IN ADDITION, YOU NEED TO REPORT THIS TO THE OWNERS OF THE MALL. THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AT THEIR MALL. SECURITY IS NOT GOING TO TELL THEM. SADLY, IT IS A PUBLIC PLACE AND IT ISN’T ILLEGAL FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE PICTURES. I HAD THIS DISCUSSION YESTERDAY WITH A CMPD OFFICER. WE DO NEED TO DO ALL WE CAN TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. SO GLAD YOU DIDN’T BACK AWAY FROM THAT MAN AND HIS POSSE. HUMAN TRAFFICKING IS AWFUL AND WE NEED MORE ATTENTION TO IT SO EVERYONE CAN BE AWARE OF IT. STAY SAFE!
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
Thank you! I am going to be talking with someone at the mall today. Hoping that something can change there with training or security, etc. I know nothing can be done about yesterday, but hopefully this will make the mall more proactive about the future, especially with holidays upon us!
23 . 10 . 2018Anne marie
Crazy story!!! Would love to share so other parents are aware and can peitect their kids. I work for wbtv. My cell is+17046412583– call me When you get this!
23 . 10 . 2018Mark
Heaven forbid it happens again, but please take the initiative to contact police yourself. They should be more responsive than the mall, particularly since SouthPark has a significant crime issue.
23 . 10 . 2018Pam
So scary! Hopefully, there’s isn’t but if something happens like this again, take a photo of the perps and call the police. Let them deal with it. Mall cops are a joke. Glad you’re ok.
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
They really are. Hopefully this incident will at least provide them more training in what to do in these types of situations…like getting the police involved.
25 . 10 . 2018Therese
that’s horrible. You should have taken his picture. 😡
23 . 10 . 2018Kristina
oh I have one 🙂
25 . 10 . 2018Veronica
I am sorry you went through such a terrifying experience. Human trafficking is a scary reality. I have the same question the lady above did – Why would you keep posting your children’s photos on the internet? No doubt it has a different purpose. However, predators don’t consider your objectives. They only think of their purposes. They are incredibly skilled people.
23 . 10 . 2018CrYstal
How compleTely terrify!! i’m so sorry you had to Go through thaT. As my girls are getting older it’s harder bec they waNt a little more freeDom (like going to tge bath on their own) and it is so scary to think of all the pred out there. I’m so glad nothing worse happeneD to you beAutiful babies. I agree you should contact the secUritt office but only after the police. This is a seRious thing, and you were not overreacting.
Furthermore…to nan…it is not your buisness nor your place to try and shane this woman about Having pictures of her chIldren up. Shame on you.
(Sorry for the caps, doesN’t allow anything else lol) gooD luck mama!
24 . 10 . 2018Kristina
It really is terrifying to know that there are predators just waiting for that one kid to walk by. I’m very thankful nothing happened. If anything at all, this incident happened just to let others know and to amp up the mall’s act on safety measures.
and thank you xxx
25 . 10 . 2018Lisa
As a mother to a daughter myself this stabs my heart. This is so scary! I live in the next town over and visit charlotte often. my daughter is grown but i still have that motherly Instinct. I saw your story on the news last night. Thanks for you and the station for getting your story out. It is becoming a serious problem around here. It makes me mad how the mall security handled this. Hope you can keep going out and enjoying shopping without fear. It will be hard but we cant let them win.
Lisa
24 . 10 . 2018(Lifeawayfromtheofficechair.com)
Kristina
Trying to still be brave and take them out for sure. Just not in huge, public areas yet. I’m glad to at least shed some light on these types of things. Trying to not let fear control my life, for sure!
25 . 10 . 2018Kaitlin
Im not sure if you realize this so i apOgize of you do, but these traffickers follow things like these blogs to find kids. When You post exactly where you Go (aka aquatots in ballAntyne, whos schedule is pUblic online, where you eat, post pictures that clearly show the areas you Frequent, etc…) they Will go to those locations and scout you out to see what car you drive and such. Then they have been known to follow people as they have multiple Lookouts in the city to keep an eye out for vehicles. Its a very elaborate operation and theyre good at it. Im not saying This in a critiquing way or that what Happened wasnt awful. Just as a heads up you may want to be a bit more cautious what you post.
24 . 10 . 2018Kristina
Yes, thank you. I don’t think the two had anything to with each other, but I’m definitely going to be more cautious. The lives and safety of my babies definitely matter more.
25 . 10 . 2018Glena stiles
First, go to attorney regarding maLl security or lack of proper response & also have them Ask mall authorities what they plan to do protect all shoppers & SPECIFICALLY children. A good group will do for free. Security should reconGnize gang activity Of any type & send a message DIRECTLY to them when they see them “wondering.” Maybe You or all us moms in this situation should file a police repoRt too. Next, publish this in local newspaper. Also, it would be a shame if HIs cell phone got all Broken up after being thrown on floor❓You should have. One more thing, be carefUl what “you” post on any website. Pictures of you or Your children or family photos Fuels perverts Warped minds.
24 . 10 . 2018Kristina
All of us who have experienced something like this should definitely do something about it together. There is always more power in numbers. And thank you for the caution about posting. I’m aware of the outside world and what can happen with the internet. I started this thing when I was trying to just have something for my kids to look back on, and it’s just taken off. But, I’ll definitely be taking more precaution <3
25 . 10 . 2018KM
Hi there, it looks like you are Talking to mall management, but please definitely also call the police and file a formal incident report. You can provide details on the men (while it is still fresh in your mind) so it can all be written down and in the files. Then when someone else has the same issue ovcur, you will have a contemporaneous statement to the police about this incident, and you can credibly testify against the men. For all we know, there are others who have had issues with them. Your information may help the police stake them out and find them. Please please involve the police. Frankly, mall management is likely to hear you out and then move on. The men may be wary of south park and move on to a different mall, so the police need to be involved to coordinate among other malls. Good luck.
24 . 10 . 2018Kristina
That’s really great advice. Thank you so much! Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do, and then just feel frozen because you don’t know what the right move is. So, I really appreciate it. xx
25 . 10 . 2018Anna
Omg, This is awful and so unnerving!
24 . 10 . 2018I would have so reacted the same way, girl! Our mom instincts and reactions are never wrong.
Im so glad it wasnt worse but its still pretty scary.
Malls themselves scare me, even though we go quite a bit but we had an incident once when we thought we lost alex aNd it was the worst 10 minutes of my life. Thankfully, he was fine. I was Shopping At a store and the boys went to look at video games with my HUSBAND and in just a blink of an eye he was gone. He thought he was walking next to my husband and followed someone else into a bookstore. Security got a call from the store saying they had him. But my worst thoughts Never left my mind, even to this day. So when we go, we are extra protective and never leave their sight.
-Anna http://www.pepperedinstyle.com
Kristina
Oh gosh, Anna! That would have freaked me out too! You just never know who’s around in public places anymore, and it’s so unsettling to always be thinking about what could happen. Luckily, the mall has been amazing since the incident wasn’t handled correctly, and we can all expect to feel safer there soon, fingers crossed! xxx
25 . 10 . 2018jENNIFER
i AM LIVID AFTER READING THIS. sOUTHPARK mALL NEEDS TO FIRE THAT SECURITY GUARD! wHAT AN ABSOLUTE JERK. pEOPLE NEED TO KNOW TO CALL THE POLICE SINCE CLEARLY MALL SECURITY IS USELESS. sHAME ON THEM! i THINK sOUTHPARK mALL NEEDS TO HAND OVER ANY VIDEO FOOTAGE (DO THEY HAVE SECURITY CAMERAS?) SO THE POLICE CAN TRY AND LOOK THESE GUYS UP…SOMETHING TELLS ME THEY PROBABLY HAVE CRIMINAL RECORDS.
24 . 10 . 2018Kristina
So much has already happened since so many amazing mamas have read my story. I’ve been able to speak with managers at the mall so that our mall can be better secured and trainings will happen with the security guards. Hopefully it all happens soon!
25 . 10 . 2018Lisa
(My first comment never posted so ill try it again)
26 . 10 . 2018I live in the next town over. This crime is everywhere. Yes i will call it a crime with no pats on the back. I understand that there are men and women who love to watch children as they may have memories of their own or wish they had children. But to stalk stare and take photos is rude and creepy. I would have phone whipped that man. You did the right thing but im outraged at how security handled it. Keep them babies close! It continues to get worst. I have a beautiful daughter of my own that is grown and i worry daily about her. Love your blog by the way.
Lisa
Heathir
Sharing this and I join you in your commitment to spread the word.
Some resources in NC that are focused on human trafficking can be found here: https://encstophumantrafficking.org//wp-content/uploads/2016/12/NC-HT-Groups-Revised-August-2016.pdf
26 . 10 . 2018Anne Asher
Oh my goodness! That is terrifying! I think the best thing might be to just call 911 yourself. Hopefully the police would be more suspicious of this kind of ACTIVITY
26 . 10 . 2018