I Am Enough

I Am Enough. 

I think it’s something every single one of us struggles with. “Am I truly enough? I have a great job, amazing husband, beautiful children, friends, a home to live in, etc… but am I really enough?” Somehow that message gets hardwired in so many of our brains, because everyday we see someone else’s highlight reel while we feel like we don’t measure up. That mom over there can bake really well and all my desserts turn to soup (true story by the way). And another mom over there feeds her children only organic while I struggle with meal planning. Another friend seems to have her house cleaned, straightened, and looking like Joanna Gaines just helped her decorate it; And some else seems to have the time to help everyone with anything they need while their life seems calm and chaos free. So am I really enough for my children? For my husband?

The answer is, of course, yes! It is, because I was created in a unique way to have certain capabilities. Only I can be Kristina Williams..Hallen and Hazel’s mom. Kevin’s wife…

And I know that these questions are going to come up in Hallen and Hazel’s heads one day. And probably not too far from now. I remember having body image issues when I so young. I was always the tallest girl in the class, so that started some of my insecurities. When I was 9, I remember thinking to myself that my thighs were fat. Why?! I have no clue what prompted it. But, I don’t want that for my girls at all. No matter how tall, short, thin, or curvy they are…they are enough. They don’t need to measure up to someone else’s standards, because they weren’t created to be someone else! The Lord created them to be Hallen Amélie and Hazel Marigold. No one else.

I want to instill confidence in their soul. I want it to sink down into their bones, so that they know with every fiber of who they are, that they are perfect just the way they are.  So what if they’re mathletes or play trombone or are a little slower to learn how to do algebra than their friends. So what if their morals are different than 99% of their classmates.

Stand out. Be different. Be a little weird. That’s beautiful.

Let’s raise a new generation that isn’t afraid of failure. Remind your babies that failure isn’t the end. Failure can be the beginning to something even more beautiful than what you had originally planned. As a child, I know that’s a concept that’s hard to grasp. Even as an adult it’s hard. I always go back to Kevin and I trying to have children. It took us TWO years to conceive Hallen. Talk about feeling like a failure as a woman! But really, that was just the beginning of our story. Kevin and I have been able to help so many friends of ours who were having trouble conceiving because of that. It’s turned into something so amazing. And even though, in that moment, I felt very far from being “enough,” I was just the “perfect enough” then.

And ever since I found out we would be girl parents, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of how to establish this idea in them…hindsight is a funny thing. If only we could have hindsight when we are going through trials in life, it would make everything so much easier, wouldn’t it?  If only I would have know I would go on to have babies, I wouldn’t have felt so defeated when trying for children. If only I would have know being thin didn’t equate to happiness, I may have eaten during my teen years, but instead wound up in the hospital 40lbs underweight. If only… But we can’t live in the “if only’s.” We have today to start teaching our babies and earning their trust.

My constant prayer for Hallen and Hazel is that they won’t ever feel the constant need to measure up. And to give me wisdom on how to guide them through the impressionable childhood years.

This blanket’s message is as much a reminder for me as it is a mantra for them. I am enough for them and they are enough for this world. I want them to know that if they fall, I’m here to catch them. I don’t want them to feel like they need to hide their feelings, because of pride or fear. I’m here. Kevin and I are their rock and they only need God’s approval.

Thank you Little and Luxe for creating such a beautiful message for this generation.