Last Mother’s Day

A Second Chance

Just writing the title of this post, tears stream down my cheeks. I remember the gut wrenching feeling of knowing that one of my children’s hearts had stopped beating who was supposed to be growing inside of me. It was Mother’s Day weekend 2016, and the ER doctor had just delivered us the news that even he didn’t want to say aloud. We lost our baby. He tried to give us hope by telling us maybe I was earlier along than I thought, but I knew there was no chance of that. We had just moved to the Carolinas two weeks before this, and the next day we were going to try out a church with our only friends we had made since moving. I kept saying I couldn’t go. I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to curl up in bed and not have to fight back my tears. The last thing I wanted to do was to meet new people. I didn’t want to worship when I felt that I had been promised something and then the promise was taken back. I wanted to punch something, yell at someone…not put on a pretty dress, sing nice songs, and celebrate motherhood.

Praising God For Giving Me Another Child

Yes, I felt so blessed to have Hallen, but I also felt so empty and broken. (You can read my miscarriage story here.) But, my husband talked some sense into me (looking back, I can say that. At the time, I was so mad that he still asked me to go), and we attended our soon to be church home for the first time. One of the songs played that morning was, Do It Again. As I sung the lyrics, felt the Holy Spirit, and worshipped, I knew He’d move the mountains again. We had prayed two years for Hallen before we got pregnant with her. I knew God was capable of giving us another child.

DO IT AGAIN

Walking around these walls
I thought by now they’d fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle’s won
For You have never failed me yet

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet

I know the night won’t last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I’ve seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

Those lyrics will forever have a tender spot in my heart. This ring from Life’s Journey Jewelry Creations (use code DEARNOVEMBERDAYS) has put all of those words and more into a small oval shaped ring. Although, I may never have that baby (and oh how I ache to still hold her and kiss her tiny nose), I can be reminded of the short time we had with her and the tender newborn moments with my two girls who I get to squeeze every day.

A MEANINGFUL RING

This gorgeous ring has my breast milk from Hazel, little pieces of Hallen’s umbilical cord that we had saved, and purple iridescent sparkles to represent our angel baby. I chose purple, because it’s actually the color of Hazel’s birthstone, and since that baby left us, we were able to meet Miss Hazel. Also, I chose it because that color used to signify royalty. Jesus wore a purple robe, and I imagine Him still with that purple robe while He rocks her to sleep every night. She now lives among Royalty. All of this is in a beautiful rose gold vintage setting. I couldn’t have asked for anything more for Mother’s Day…for pieces of all of my babies in one sweet place.

THE BLESSING OF BEING A MOTHER

How lucky am I to be a mother? I feel so blessed to have two little munchkins on my hip. Of course, I know this day is painful for so many. I know, because I was there just last year. I was there before Hallen came into our life as well. And I’m praying so hard for those who are crying today, because their womb no longer holds a child they wanted so badly to meet. I’m praying for those who haven’t gotten to experience those jabs from little feet and hands. I’ve felt your pain, and I wish so badly that I could take it away from you. I pray your time will come that you get to nurse your sweet child, and then bottle it all up in one of these rings to cherish those fleeting moments.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms, dog moms, future moms, “mothers” to students, “mothers” to a child you mentor, and mothers who have experienced a loss and aren’t yet holding a babe. You’re all mothers. You are so loved. And thank you for doing what you do.

Use code DEARNOVEMBERDAYS for your own special piece of jewelry at Life’s Journey Jewelry Creations.

Hazel’s Leo// Shirt//Skirt (similar)//Shoes